sexta-feira, 21 de maio de 2010
- Mom, Where is my Math book? Have you seen it?
- Dear, have you seen my white shirt and the car keys?
- Mom, I can't tie my hair. Would you help me?
This type of conversation is quite normal in a standard family's morning. Having this conversation as example, what can be inferred about the mother or the wife or the woman's role? She is the queen of the house, that's for sure. She commands. She knows exactly where each thing is and what everybody needs and likes. And this is a happy family. But, is this happiness true? Perhaps, but this standardised family seems to be almost extinct. At least in Western societies.
I have heard that wives in Japan prepare their husband's clothes to work.. It means, they only have to wear them. To put it on. Ok, I must agree they are the providers, the ones to work and provide the family's well-being. But what happens with this family when the wife has to put the crown of the queen of the house on the side table and go to work? Will this family be as happy as it is now?
There are many reasons for a woman to decide to go to work. She may be a single mother, she may have a humble and poor family whose money is short and she has to work to help with it or those ones who get tired of this everyday routine of a housewife and want to get rid of it.
A woman, as a human being, has the same society needs of a man. She needs to be active, to participate in society somehow, to have her own friends. An individual and not the shade of a husband. It is obvious that culture plays an important role here. But this participation in the work market may bring some consequences to this family, standardised by society.
Although we may see lots of changes in modern life, like the different man and woman roles in society, yet we have to face problems related to a family structure when the woman leaves the house to go to work. Husbands may find it difficult to deal with the situation of not having all the things he needs in his hands and he finds himself in the obligation of doing it if he wants a thing, or even considering the fact of sharing chores. But the most concerning topic, nowadays, has been the children's bringing up.
How have children been raised? Electronic baby-sitters, such as computers and video games are often seen. On the one hand, children grow up independently, ready to live by themselves, but on the other hand, this feeling of independence make them insensitive, selfish and somehow, egocentric, because they want all the attention they did not have from their parents.
Mentioning parents, I mean responsibility is directed to both mother and father. So, the fact of a woman going to work is not the cause of having a bad child's bringing up. She has to face the work market to show she is as capable as a man. Indeed, both of them should pay attention to the education of their offspring. Cooperation. Isn't it one of the characteristics of marriage?
If we point that mothers and fathers have different roles in a child's life, we may see a very important fact in a child's bringing up.
This difference in roles result in different personality traits, as well. These traits have big effects such as limit, love, respect, and so on.
If we consider that a child is just a "scheme" of an adult, it means an adult is the result of a child. Now, seeing adults who are around us, we may see how upbringing is important in a child's life. There is an old saying in Brazil which says: "É de pequeno que se desentorta o pepino, senão ele não cabe no pote." And that is it. Can you imagine how many problems an adult may have resulting from his childhood?
Considering all the standard family, roles, children, how can we have a very good family? A prospering one? How can we raise our children? This is a small help to have a different family pattern, and perhaps, we may live in brotherhood, in peace with each other.